My Dare to Dream

I want, I want, I want...

• I want my own interior design and brand development business where I am sought out by businesses and homeowners alike to renovate and remodel homes and workplaces
• I want real client interaction in which we really explore the requirements and desires for businesses and homes alike
• I want the job satisfaction of positivley inflencing clients homes and businesses for the better
• I want put to use my business and sociological education to use by combining interior with brand develeopment
• I want to work with Davey, who I love more than anything and who I miss daily
• I want flexibility and excitement in my life
• I want to take the dog to work
• I want to organise my own schedule to have a good life work balance
• I want to profit from my success, dedication and passion
• I want to be happy in my job
• I want good client relationships

[Please try not to read the above in the voice of Veruca Salt (from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory- Original film) this started as an 'I would like' list but it just didn't seem passionate enough]

All of the above has always seemed totally unachievable, like a distant dream that 'other' people can acomplish. However the Secret has allowed me to think about what might be possible and allowed my confidence in myself and my abilities to grow. 

The more I think about it the more I realise just how many people successfully run their own businesses.
Its taken a lot of searching and intraspective to start to let go of the fear I automitically feal when I think about 'going it alone' however slowly but surely I have begun to realise that Dave and I have as good a chance as anyone and I have started to belive that we can have the lives we want. Its within our grasp. We've got just to be brave, trust in each other and look after each other.  

I don't know if it's more confidence in myself since changing jobs, the fact that Dave's confidence and drive make it seem more possible or the fact that The Secret has convinced me that all perceived barriers were put there by me, but I do dare to dream now.

Today I am grateful for this blog, its little more than an online diary but it has done wonders for my focus and motivation.

Thank you google Blogger!

Expanding Ambition...

The new job not living up to my [huge] expectations has been a bit of a blow, a considerable knock to my pride and in general a bit depressing.

On the bright side...

It has made me re-focus and I have begun to realise that maybe I can't rely on finding the prefect job, maybe I have to create it.

The [new] Dream...
Dave and I have, for a while, aspired to create a self build on a piece of my Mums land* recently due to both of us being relatively unhappy at work this aspiration has become THE DREAM. 

* I should clarify that we are not a filthy rich family. My Nan and Grandad bought two cottages with land 'back in the day' and worked and saved hard to convert said cottages to a very nice moderately sized house in a large piece of land.

The Plan [reprioritised]...
The self-build dream has stepped up a notch and is now a key factor in my 'Expanding ambitions'. The self-build venture will not only be a 'once in a lifetime' opportunity but also the chance to gather the revenue to start our own business.

The business idea is an Interior Design and Refurbishment business that will focus on homes and businesses on a very personal scale.

The new business is now key to our future plans and seems to be the perfect solution: 

• It will allow me to create my perfect career
• It will allow Dave and I to work together, for ourselves to provide us with a secure future
• I will allow us to look after our families & nearest and dearest current and future
• It will be a rewarding and motivating career for both of us  

When it comes to this opportunity it's not difficult to be grateful:

Thank you to my Nana and Grandad who worked and saved so hard to pass on the house and land to my mum

Thank you for my Mum allowing us this fantastic opportunity. Thank you Mum for you unwavering confidence and your willingness to take a risk on us

Thank you to Dave who talked me through my worries and lack of confidence in my ability. Thank you to Dave for being strong, reassuring and supportive and for your confidence in me

Thank you to Dave's Dad our silent, patient long term investor

Essex Boot Camp; It Hurts

Wednesday, as a punishment for my indiscretion with the Lindor White Chocolate Truffle, I finally signed up and attended Essex Boot Camp for the 1st of my 10 sessions [a bargain with Groupon at 10 sessions for £19].

Officially my 'new' favourite chocolates in the world 

I always get nervous going to these things; I inevitably end up going alone because no one else will indulge my desire for punishing exercise routines.

Generally I get nervous about being 'new' and not knowing what to expect, but this time I was terrified because I knew it was going to be a ridiculously hard workout. The fear induced by this knowledge was somewhat compounded by the fact that I had not exercised properly in 6 months!

Davey, doing his supportive boyfriend bit, walked me down to the local venue with the dog and kissed me goodbye.

It took everything in my resolve to turn away from him and make myself walk into the car park to meet the 30 strangers all looking fit, toned and milling around in red vests [I'm not going to say cult but...]

Thank God I was one of 5 new people, the other 4 had come in pairs, but at least I wasn't totally alone. I'd just started to relax and get chatty when Glynn Roberts [the owner of Essex Boot Camp, ex marine and total sadist] arrived.

The Warm Up From Hell...
The warm up started with a lap of the field [of which the newbies only had to do half] and then straight into a punishing routine of press ups, planks, burpies, lunges, a weird crawl on your hands and feet [I did it wrong and got yelled at] and intermittent sprints across the football pitch.

There is no slacking allowed. Any slacking results lots of shouting and an extension of what ever horrible exercise we were being put through.

By now I realised that I have totally lost my ability to do press ups and sit ups and no amount of yelling or determination not to be a 'let down' was going to fix that.

I spent most of my time wide eyed and face down in the mud praying I wouldn't get caught failing...



So not quite 'National Mud Day' standard but it was pretty muddy

 Halfway through the warm up I was totally ready to 'flick them the bird', shout a casual obscenity and throw my vest to the floor. I felt sick and my legs were like jelly. Whats more gratitude and positivity were firmly out the window!

I was definitely radiating defiance, fury and hatred at the man who was punishing me, seemingly for the pure joy of it.

The final part of the warm up was a lap of the pitch, the first half across the line were Team 1 lead by Glynn and the last half back were Team 2, lead by Lisa.

Needless to say I was in Team 2 [and now I know how to avoid Glynn]

The Main Work Out...
The second part of the training was exhausting but not as horrible of the warm up. Group 2 [my group] was with Lisa, who while still firm and motivational is not as merciless as Glynn. 

We were divided* into teams of three. Luckily two of the new girls, who I later found out to be sisters, sought me out.

*Dividing into little groups always fills me with dread... I am instantly reduced to a scared little girl who is terrified that she won't get picked. I know that I am nearly 30 and it shouldn't really matter but for some reason it does... massively!

The first activity was for two of the group to drag the third team member to the goal post and sprint back, this was repeated for each member of the group twice.

Then we had to find a partner, the fear surfaced... but luckily one of the girls whom I had been talking to before the session found and addopted me.

In partners we had to do 'overs and unders'*, relay sprints, sit ups/ press ups/ burpies before we moved on to the group activities.

*Overs and Unders; you lay on the ground while your partner jumps over you [dangerous with jelly legs] and then you have to make an arch from your body with your hands and feet on the floor while your partner crawls under you… then you swap over. It was hard.

We were then split into two teams and did a press up race [boys had to do 30 and girls had to do 20] followed by another team race which consisted of stomach toning pose to be held by the whole group while each member took a turn to sprint to and from the goal post.

Our group lost.

Twice.

 The final hurdle was to all sit on the floor holding hands and do sit ups, by this stage I was ruined and ended flopping around, making straining noises and generally disturbing everyone. However not as much as the owner of a loud fart which caused a huge amount of laughing and accusation.

The class finished with, Ex Marine, Glynn giving us newbies a ‘motivational talk’ [which was tantamount bullying with a sense of humour] but he did say that they 'will always push us to do our best and as long as we push ourselves they will be happy' … which was a little encouraging.

He also said we could expect phenomenal weight loss which was very encouraging. 

I warmed to him in the end but I am reserving the right to loathe him again in Mondays class!

Final Thought...

The class was really hard, mediocre effort is not indulged and you are pushed and kept moving for the entire hour. However when I 'made it through' I felt a real sense of achievement and had gained a very nice new friend called Susana… so I have promised to go back next week.

Two days after the class I am still in significant pain I have no idea how John Bishop is doing everything he's doing for Sport relief. He is my hero!

I’ll keep you posted…

Reasons to be grateful; A Magical Trip to Bruges

Ever since I started this ‘sort-of social experiment’ to see how much I could change my life, things have been getting better and better. This weekend’s trip to Bruges has been the cherry on the cake… or more accurately the cherry in the Belgian beer.

This is how it happened…

My fella is truly brilliant, he is extremely funny [there is not a day that I don’t cry with laughter], he is fantastically good to me AND [this was a shock] he even listens to me. He proved this in spectacular style at Christmas with a perfect selection of gifts for me, all without guidance or interference. These gifts included numerous bits like a jumper dress, the warmest slippers in the world, a Tatty Devine necklace [my most coveted costume jewellery designer independent to London and introduced to my by Victoria] and a very funky little suitcase…

The Christmas Suitcase

Within this suitcase was a gigantic card containing a surprise trip on the Euro Tunnel and various locations which we could travel to for the weekend circled on a map.  There are a few reasons that this is the perfect gift for me:



I love Christmas so much that when it’s over I get a little blue [on occasions there are even tears]. Dave specifically got me this gift as ‘something to look forward to’ after Christmas

I love new experiences, literally anything slightly out of the ordinary makes me extremely excited. For example if Dave suggests taking the dog on a slightly different walk, in my head this becomes a mini adventure. Given this little bit of background you can maybe start to imagine the joy at the following: First time on the Euro tunnel [and the opportunity to treat myself at the duty frees], first time driving to a foreign holiday destination, first time in Belgium and first time in Bruges, and this was just the journey there!

 I got to choose! I constantly pester Dave to agree to city breaks because I love how much there is to see and do, so many new experiences, history and culture and beyond the tourist stuff you really get a sense of how people live. This is not Dave’s favourite type of place to visit, he favours the more relaxing scenarios but he suggested Bruges which makes this trip an entirely selfless gift.

Permission to spoil myself at the Duty Frees

The weekend was perfect from start to finish and I was doubly spoilt as the Davey booked the weekend of our five year anniversary and a lovely hotel right in the heart of Bruges.

The entire weekend was a weekend of firsts, admittedly a lot to do with food and beer:

It was the first time I have ever had Belgian beer in Belgium. I love Belgian beer, especially the fruit beers, I would drink them all the time if it weren’t for the extortionate price tag in this country but the fruit beers in Belgium were all €3 or less.

Our first drink on the first day was in ‘The Beerwall’ which is now officially my favourite bar in the world.

Pull down menus at The Beerwall

 You order drinks from menus suspended on elastic above your head, which negates the frantic scrabbling around and trying to decipher and order from a menu in a foreign language as you reach the bar. When your got your drink, served in the delightful Belgian glasses [they make beer look so much more refined than the British pint]

  

Belgian beer at The Beerwall

  

Then you can squeeze into the cosy bar or you can move out to the terrace overlooking for the canal. Needless to say we selected the latter option! While everywhere in Bruges is beautiful, the view from the sunny terrace of The Beerwall with a Kriek Boon is definitely top in my books.



The Beerwall from across the canal

Me with my Kriek Boon at The Beerwall

The terrace furniture is all simple but stylish with clean lines and durable materials. Seating is on high stools along an external bench style table which runs the length of the deck. The bench is supported on gabions [stainless steel cages filled with decorative rocks] and has a perforated brushed stainless steel top surrounded by a chunky hardwood frame which has silvered due to exposure to the elements. The high stools are the same silvered hardwood and brushed stainless steel. The bench has three umbrellas, in black and white, with raffia streamers about 6 inches long hanging from the underside. The overall effect is funky and functional and totally my sort of place; the simple colour palate compliments the beautiful backdrop of the typical Bruges architecture with its soft brick tones and natural stone.

I really didn’t want to leave this bar but the sun went down and the temperature dropped so eventually we retreated back to the hotel.

The next day I had my first ever Belgian Waffle and in fact my first ever waffle for breakfast. It was delicious. Dave was quite ‘into’ his waffle as well.

Dave feeling the waffle love!

Belgian Waffle Breakfast

After breakfast we took my first ever horse drawn carriage and got a historical tour of Bruges. Dave and I thought we had walked most of the Centre of Bruges but the tour revealed an entire quarter of the city we had not yet seen. The tour also revealed to us that the ‘old buildings’ on the square outside our hotel date back to the 11^th Century and that the oldest one was in fact the Chapel of the Holy Blood [said to contain a vial of Jesus Christ’s Blood].

Our horse had a break and a snack at Love Lake so Dave and I took an opportunity to buy ‘eternal love’ by throwing a couple of Euro’s into the lake.

Our horse drawn carriage

Following the horse & carriage tour we retraced the tours steps to locate the ‘Best place to be to drink the best hot chocolate’ also known as ‘The Old Chocolate House’ and ‘De Halve Mann’ brewery.

Delicious Hot Chocolate

Hot chocolate in Bruges is like pure melted chocolate. It is amazing and I will crave it for ever more!

 De Halve Mann Brewery tour was brilliant, it started with the small room that they use to brew the ‘Bruges Zot’ today followed by a tour around the historical building and all the processes the Brewers used until modern processes became available. Midway through the tour we ended up on the roof of the Brewery which gave fantastic views over all of Bruges and the tour ended at the bar to sample the goods… we approved!

I loved everything about this trip, so in case I didn’t quite tell you enough Davey, THANK YOU!



Sampling the product following the brewery tour



We Approve!

Official beer of De Halve Mann Brewery

Bruges is definitely in the top 5 places I have visited and with a door to door travel time of just over 4 hours a return trip is on the cards... Hopefully in the near future!

Next stop Athens...





I’m a Big Believer in Rewards for Achievement...

I know getting a new job to most people is something they do every other year but getting this new job means so much to me because I feel like a success for the first time and I’ve overcome a lot of my personal hurdles [like fear of rejection] so I decided I deserve a big reward.

Unfortunately I decided and set my heart on a really really big reward before I really appreciated the cost…

The Mulberry Alexa Nightshade Blue Large Silky Snake bag, retailing at £950

‘Now I know £950 is a really nice holiday, or a big chunk off the credit card but this bag is soooo beautiful, would go with everything, be a symbol and a reminder to succeed and I would use until it disintegrated’

This was my plea to but unfortunately my plea fell on deaf ears and Davey laid down the law…. So I am going to have to find another way to get the bag. It’s going on The Secret list!

Wham BAM Thank you Mam...

I Got It...

So it's been a little over two weeks since I last blogged, and here's the latest.

The week after the interview I was in constant contact with the agent (Kathryn at Eden Brown... who is amazing and I fully recommend) and everything was sounding very positive, there was talk of 'An offer by the end of the week' ... 

I was feeling so grateful, excited and happy and I was telling everyone that I the interview went so well that I was sure that I was going to get the job [in the name of positive visualisation].

But then the 'Sure offer' 

became 'Hopefully an offer early the following week'

which finally reduced to 'A decision be the end of the following week'


It had seemed so certain initially and now there seemed to be so much doubt. I started to worry, I started to feel bad and I started to think negative thoughts and because I was feeling bad I was attracting more bad feelings.

This was a dangerous spiral... so I told myself to 'Slap out of it' [Quote from my favourite ever show Cougar Town]

I turned my attention to how I could fix my negative vibe and started to ponder what I had done to change my energy, I thought about the advice The Secret gives and I realised that I had been trying to work out 'how', and 'when' and 'where' an offer was going to be made which had been instilling doubt that I was going to receive what I had asked for.

From that moment on I resolved to stop thinking about anything that I wasn't sure about and just trust that I was going to get what I want I has asked for.

Every time a negative thought surfaced I corrected it and then pushed it away. I resolved to be calm and collected and instead of thinking about 'when' 'if' 'how' the job offer was going to come I started focusing on fun and positive actions I could take in anticipation of the new job. This included things that i naturally find fun like the new fun clothes I could wear at my new job [I am a big clothes whore by nature and the new dress code is super relaxed... yay! Big selling point for me!]

Once I started getting back on the positive track I started to feel better and the worry went away.

On Valentines day someone left a tube of Lovehearts on my desk [there is a mystery romancer who bestows gifts on all the ladies in the office every Valentines day... very gentlemanly if a little sexist] and in that pack of Lovehearts there was a 'Lucky Day' Loveheart.

I scoffed down the rest [in the spirit of the day obviously] but I decided to keep the 'Lucky Day' Loveheart until I felt that the job offer would come that day. Luckily I didn't have to wait long because the next day I felt sure the offer was coming so I chomped the Loveheart first thing and before lunch I had my offer.

I know the Lovehearts are just a silly game I was playing with myself but I think that if silly games help you to feel good about getting what you want then play away...

I am so excited and proud about starting my job, it is the oh-so desired 'private practice', it has so much career development potential and is such a good company that 6 months ago I wouldn't even have had the confidence to apply for it,

So....

Thank you 'The Secret'

Thank you Davey who has spent a great deal of time investing in boosting my confidence and telling me that 'I can do it'

Thank you to my friends & family who have invested many hours of their personal time checking over my CV and portfolio and boosting my confidence.

I really feel like the new job is a team effort and I really feel like I finally made it x

Since I got the offer there has been an abundance of bubbly and celebration

Right well I am off to my Mums now for more Champagne and a celebration dinner, everyone around the table has something to celebrate tonight so we are officially the 'Good News Crew'!

Then tomorrow my lovely fella is whisking me away to Bruges as part of an oh-so thoughtful Christmas/ Anniversary Pressie

P.S Happy five Year Anniversary Davey

In the interest of...

In the interest of getting more of what you are grateful for, I would like to say

Thank you to Davey for...

Cooking me dinner
Washing up
AND doing the recycling

[without even being asked]

Love you

xxx

Little Secret Update [Wealth]

As you know one of things I am using The Secret to attract this year is wealth.

Over the last couple of weeks I have really be focusing my mind on only thinking about money with positivity and joy. I am looking at everything I want and thinking to myself 'I can afford that'... even when it’s the new Audi R8 Davey wants so much.

Anyway I was standing in the co-op queue visualising how our lives would be in the dream house with all the wealth we've attracted and feeling joy and gratitude as if we already had it [The Secret says this is key to attracting what you want] and my focus shifted to one particular scratch card with a top prize of £5,000. Because I was feeling so happy and joyful and I had been attracted to the particular scratch card I bought it [I never buy them usually].

That was last Friday night... I decided to save it until I felt really happy and really grateful, which happened to be tonight and I spent all the way home from work visualising what Dave and I could do with the money

... It was a winner!

The prize was £5 but I am so grateful and joyful about that £5 because I see it as sign that The Secret is starting to take effect. That £5 is going straight into my savings to contribute towards the £300,000 I expect by 2012.

I would also like to use the £5 to create a technique that Rhonda used to get herself back on her feet financially and imagine another three zero's on the end there, so...

I am so happy and grateful now that I have received £5000

I'll keep you posted xxx