Expanding Ambition...

The new job not living up to my [huge] expectations has been a bit of a blow, a considerable knock to my pride and in general a bit depressing.

On the bright side...

It has made me re-focus and I have begun to realise that maybe I can't rely on finding the prefect job, maybe I have to create it.

The [new] Dream...
Dave and I have, for a while, aspired to create a self build on a piece of my Mums land* recently due to both of us being relatively unhappy at work this aspiration has become THE DREAM. 

* I should clarify that we are not a filthy rich family. My Nan and Grandad bought two cottages with land 'back in the day' and worked and saved hard to convert said cottages to a very nice moderately sized house in a large piece of land.

The Plan [reprioritised]...
The self-build dream has stepped up a notch and is now a key factor in my 'Expanding ambitions'. The self-build venture will not only be a 'once in a lifetime' opportunity but also the chance to gather the revenue to start our own business.

The business idea is an Interior Design and Refurbishment business that will focus on homes and businesses on a very personal scale.

The new business is now key to our future plans and seems to be the perfect solution: 

• It will allow me to create my perfect career
• It will allow Dave and I to work together, for ourselves to provide us with a secure future
• I will allow us to look after our families & nearest and dearest current and future
• It will be a rewarding and motivating career for both of us  

When it comes to this opportunity it's not difficult to be grateful:

Thank you to my Nana and Grandad who worked and saved so hard to pass on the house and land to my mum

Thank you for my Mum allowing us this fantastic opportunity. Thank you Mum for you unwavering confidence and your willingness to take a risk on us

Thank you to Dave who talked me through my worries and lack of confidence in my ability. Thank you to Dave for being strong, reassuring and supportive and for your confidence in me

Thank you to Dave's Dad our silent, patient long term investor

Essex Boot Camp; It Hurts

Wednesday, as a punishment for my indiscretion with the Lindor White Chocolate Truffle, I finally signed up and attended Essex Boot Camp for the 1st of my 10 sessions [a bargain with Groupon at 10 sessions for £19].

Officially my 'new' favourite chocolates in the world 

I always get nervous going to these things; I inevitably end up going alone because no one else will indulge my desire for punishing exercise routines.

Generally I get nervous about being 'new' and not knowing what to expect, but this time I was terrified because I knew it was going to be a ridiculously hard workout. The fear induced by this knowledge was somewhat compounded by the fact that I had not exercised properly in 6 months!

Davey, doing his supportive boyfriend bit, walked me down to the local venue with the dog and kissed me goodbye.

It took everything in my resolve to turn away from him and make myself walk into the car park to meet the 30 strangers all looking fit, toned and milling around in red vests [I'm not going to say cult but...]

Thank God I was one of 5 new people, the other 4 had come in pairs, but at least I wasn't totally alone. I'd just started to relax and get chatty when Glynn Roberts [the owner of Essex Boot Camp, ex marine and total sadist] arrived.

The Warm Up From Hell...
The warm up started with a lap of the field [of which the newbies only had to do half] and then straight into a punishing routine of press ups, planks, burpies, lunges, a weird crawl on your hands and feet [I did it wrong and got yelled at] and intermittent sprints across the football pitch.

There is no slacking allowed. Any slacking results lots of shouting and an extension of what ever horrible exercise we were being put through.

By now I realised that I have totally lost my ability to do press ups and sit ups and no amount of yelling or determination not to be a 'let down' was going to fix that.

I spent most of my time wide eyed and face down in the mud praying I wouldn't get caught failing...



So not quite 'National Mud Day' standard but it was pretty muddy

 Halfway through the warm up I was totally ready to 'flick them the bird', shout a casual obscenity and throw my vest to the floor. I felt sick and my legs were like jelly. Whats more gratitude and positivity were firmly out the window!

I was definitely radiating defiance, fury and hatred at the man who was punishing me, seemingly for the pure joy of it.

The final part of the warm up was a lap of the pitch, the first half across the line were Team 1 lead by Glynn and the last half back were Team 2, lead by Lisa.

Needless to say I was in Team 2 [and now I know how to avoid Glynn]

The Main Work Out...
The second part of the training was exhausting but not as horrible of the warm up. Group 2 [my group] was with Lisa, who while still firm and motivational is not as merciless as Glynn. 

We were divided* into teams of three. Luckily two of the new girls, who I later found out to be sisters, sought me out.

*Dividing into little groups always fills me with dread... I am instantly reduced to a scared little girl who is terrified that she won't get picked. I know that I am nearly 30 and it shouldn't really matter but for some reason it does... massively!

The first activity was for two of the group to drag the third team member to the goal post and sprint back, this was repeated for each member of the group twice.

Then we had to find a partner, the fear surfaced... but luckily one of the girls whom I had been talking to before the session found and addopted me.

In partners we had to do 'overs and unders'*, relay sprints, sit ups/ press ups/ burpies before we moved on to the group activities.

*Overs and Unders; you lay on the ground while your partner jumps over you [dangerous with jelly legs] and then you have to make an arch from your body with your hands and feet on the floor while your partner crawls under you… then you swap over. It was hard.

We were then split into two teams and did a press up race [boys had to do 30 and girls had to do 20] followed by another team race which consisted of stomach toning pose to be held by the whole group while each member took a turn to sprint to and from the goal post.

Our group lost.

Twice.

 The final hurdle was to all sit on the floor holding hands and do sit ups, by this stage I was ruined and ended flopping around, making straining noises and generally disturbing everyone. However not as much as the owner of a loud fart which caused a huge amount of laughing and accusation.

The class finished with, Ex Marine, Glynn giving us newbies a ‘motivational talk’ [which was tantamount bullying with a sense of humour] but he did say that they 'will always push us to do our best and as long as we push ourselves they will be happy' … which was a little encouraging.

He also said we could expect phenomenal weight loss which was very encouraging. 

I warmed to him in the end but I am reserving the right to loathe him again in Mondays class!

Final Thought...

The class was really hard, mediocre effort is not indulged and you are pushed and kept moving for the entire hour. However when I 'made it through' I felt a real sense of achievement and had gained a very nice new friend called Susana… so I have promised to go back next week.

Two days after the class I am still in significant pain I have no idea how John Bishop is doing everything he's doing for Sport relief. He is my hero!

I’ll keep you posted…

Wham BAM Thank you Mam...

I Got It...

So it's been a little over two weeks since I last blogged, and here's the latest.

The week after the interview I was in constant contact with the agent (Kathryn at Eden Brown... who is amazing and I fully recommend) and everything was sounding very positive, there was talk of 'An offer by the end of the week' ... 

I was feeling so grateful, excited and happy and I was telling everyone that I the interview went so well that I was sure that I was going to get the job [in the name of positive visualisation].

But then the 'Sure offer' 

became 'Hopefully an offer early the following week'

which finally reduced to 'A decision be the end of the following week'


It had seemed so certain initially and now there seemed to be so much doubt. I started to worry, I started to feel bad and I started to think negative thoughts and because I was feeling bad I was attracting more bad feelings.

This was a dangerous spiral... so I told myself to 'Slap out of it' [Quote from my favourite ever show Cougar Town]

I turned my attention to how I could fix my negative vibe and started to ponder what I had done to change my energy, I thought about the advice The Secret gives and I realised that I had been trying to work out 'how', and 'when' and 'where' an offer was going to be made which had been instilling doubt that I was going to receive what I had asked for.

From that moment on I resolved to stop thinking about anything that I wasn't sure about and just trust that I was going to get what I want I has asked for.

Every time a negative thought surfaced I corrected it and then pushed it away. I resolved to be calm and collected and instead of thinking about 'when' 'if' 'how' the job offer was going to come I started focusing on fun and positive actions I could take in anticipation of the new job. This included things that i naturally find fun like the new fun clothes I could wear at my new job [I am a big clothes whore by nature and the new dress code is super relaxed... yay! Big selling point for me!]

Once I started getting back on the positive track I started to feel better and the worry went away.

On Valentines day someone left a tube of Lovehearts on my desk [there is a mystery romancer who bestows gifts on all the ladies in the office every Valentines day... very gentlemanly if a little sexist] and in that pack of Lovehearts there was a 'Lucky Day' Loveheart.

I scoffed down the rest [in the spirit of the day obviously] but I decided to keep the 'Lucky Day' Loveheart until I felt that the job offer would come that day. Luckily I didn't have to wait long because the next day I felt sure the offer was coming so I chomped the Loveheart first thing and before lunch I had my offer.

I know the Lovehearts are just a silly game I was playing with myself but I think that if silly games help you to feel good about getting what you want then play away...

I am so excited and proud about starting my job, it is the oh-so desired 'private practice', it has so much career development potential and is such a good company that 6 months ago I wouldn't even have had the confidence to apply for it,

So....

Thank you 'The Secret'

Thank you Davey who has spent a great deal of time investing in boosting my confidence and telling me that 'I can do it'

Thank you to my friends & family who have invested many hours of their personal time checking over my CV and portfolio and boosting my confidence.

I really feel like the new job is a team effort and I really feel like I finally made it x

Since I got the offer there has been an abundance of bubbly and celebration

Right well I am off to my Mums now for more Champagne and a celebration dinner, everyone around the table has something to celebrate tonight so we are officially the 'Good News Crew'!

Then tomorrow my lovely fella is whisking me away to Bruges as part of an oh-so thoughtful Christmas/ Anniversary Pressie

P.S Happy five Year Anniversary Davey

The Interview...

So yesterday was The Interview...

I usually get very nervous at interviews; I was so nervous at my first interview (at NPS) I had to use all my self control not to sob and bolt for the door.

I previously blogged about how positive thinking has transformed my career in the last 18 months (if you haven't read it of you want a re-cap click here) so I was sure that if I could use The Secret techniques I could 'rock their socks' at the interview.

Four of the techniques The Secret recommends played a key part in my preparation:

1) Focus on what you want and trust your instincts
Ahead of the interview I made sure I had enough time to prepare so I wasn't rushed or stressed on the day. Despite my best intentions I had a little mishap on the day before the interview. I took my portfolio to get printed only to find it was going to cost me £200.
This freaked me out and made me uncertain whether I should go into work first and try to sneak print my portfolio. The idea of trying to sneak into work and illegally print made me feel stressed and guilty so I made a decision to trust my instincts and that The Secret would provide an alternative solution.

It did...
The next day I found 'Positive Print' (it was a sign) and got my work beautifully printed and bound for £40 with no stress (which on the day of your interview is worth its weight in gold)

Incidentally two other things happened at the print shop:
1) I got stuck in the snow, so I would like to that the kind man that pushed me out of the icy trench
2) I got a call from another recruitment consultant offering me an interview for the same position = massive confidence booster!

2) Visualising the result that I want
During the run up to the interview I spent time researching the company and managed to pick out a few details and questions for the interview. On the journey there I visualised exactly how I wanted the interview to go focusing on the things I had learnt about the company particularly the design awards they have won.

It was brilliant. Everything I had picked out and managed to remember
came up totally naturally. The interview went so well that we ran out of time before the next candidate arrived. Following my interview I was shown the office and taken to meet the design director who spent 45 minutes telling me all the benefits of working for them. The original advertisement was for a 12 month contract but the discussions with the design director soon meant that we were discussing a permanent position with benefits. There are a lot... its a truly excellent package, more than I ever imagined.

3) Acting as though I have already received it
I told everyone about the interview.
I told everyone about all the positive feedback that the fantastic recruitment consultant gave me.
I told everyone I was going to get the interview, the job and a massive pay rise (which made some people recoil, but luckily no one that mattered).
Following the interview I told everyone (including the recruitment consultant) how well I did and that 'unless the candidate after me was exceptional then the job was mine’. 
When I got home I drafted my resignation letter and wrote my name, new title and address out until I felt it was my new place of work.

4) Feeling gratitude
I said thank you for my new job all the way home last night, before I went to sleep and when I woke up this morning.

Then Today...
The consultant called me and told me that the feedback from my interview was excellent and I should expect a job offer in the next few days...

Now I am just focusing on the salary I want :o)

I'll keep you posted

In the interest of...

In the interest of getting more of what you are grateful for, I would like to say

Thank you to Davey for...

Cooking me dinner
Washing up
AND doing the recycling

[without even being asked]

Love you

xxx