Aspirations for 2013...

For the last 5 years I have made a huge list of about 30-40 New Year’s Resolutions; some are on-going, some are year specific and almost half of each list is yet to be achieved.

This year I have decided to take a different approach and (in keeping with The Secret) make my resolutions more about my mental approach to life rather than an impossible series of specific targets which will only serve to draw attention to where I have failed.

With this in mind, my resolutions for 2013 are:

Banish the perfection obsession- the world will not end if I leave the housework for a week

Stay positive and banish thoughts of lack (especially when it comes to time)

Acknowledge that relaxing and enjoying life is important

Better work/ life balance; make time for hobbies and exercise

Focus on improving health rather than losing weight (and as a pleasant side effect shed 1.5 stone before Las Vegas... Ha ha!)

Self-employment or a new job with flexibility

Develop [Your] place, Your Rules

Dry January... I shall not drink for one whole month

Simple.

Happy New Year!

 

Another stark realisation

I just got off the phone with my mum and my stomach is in knots... I've realised that I am absolutely terrified.

It was, from my perspective (which isn't always accurate), a decidedly negative phone call in which my mum put a time limit on the opportunity to do the self build project at Wellmead.

She is absolutely right, of course, and I would never want her to put her life or plans on hold for me but this is a familiar feeling and I am once again subject to my mums particular take on tough love...

I have to contact the planning department and see if this project has any hope of realisation

I know that this is her motivational technique (Dave has also been trying to gently and cautiously focus my attention) and I know everything my mum does has my best interests at heart but I have a familiar feeling of dread deep in my stomach which has forced me to confront the issues that I have been suppressing;

I am scared that this opportunity will be over before its begun

I am really worried that my mum isn't totally on board with our plans

I am scared of selling our home and living rough for a year in a static home

I am terrified that I don't have the ability to make a success of the opportunity if planning is granted

I am petrified of ruining a place that our family has shared for 3 generations

I am worried about managing a building contract that represents hundreds of thousand of pound and potential debt for Dave and I

I am scared that I won't be able to get the return on that investment to take care of my family

I am worried that I'll fail and disappoint all those nearest and dearest to me

I'm terrified of ruining a (at times a very difficult) relationship with my mum, who I love to the point of agony.

I'm afriad I have got

THE FEAR!

I think that about sums up my current fears... as you can see I have a lot of work to do to turn these worries into the positive attitude, visualisation and confidence that I need to make this work and I can not approach the planners until I have gained the confidence to be self assured when I do.

I have always had low self confidence... its time to step up to the plate and believe in myself or no one else will.

For today I will just have to take solace in a quote I read today in an email from Dream. Find. Do (the sister website of Florance Finds)

'If your dreams don't scare you they're not big enough'

Michelle from Pocket Full Of Dreams mantra

Thanks to Rebbecca and Michelle for providing me with a bit of hope and inspiration in my current pit of fear. I await the details of the 'Blogging Workshop' with breath that is baited

I am also thankful for the fact that I have my first very satisfied customer in Mrs Victoria Hale- Griffiths aka Sugar Plum Slipper

I happy and excited about my conversation with a very lovely man about enrolling on a City of Guilds Upholstery and French Polishing course to add to my [Your] Place, Your Rules dream. [link coming soon] 

I am also thankful for this blog, which today is better than a therapist.

I think I need a fairly intense session with The Secret

I'll keep you posted x

Expanding Ambition...

The new job not living up to my [huge] expectations has been a bit of a blow, a considerable knock to my pride and in general a bit depressing.

On the bright side...

It has made me re-focus and I have begun to realise that maybe I can't rely on finding the prefect job, maybe I have to create it.

The [new] Dream...
Dave and I have, for a while, aspired to create a self build on a piece of my Mums land* recently due to both of us being relatively unhappy at work this aspiration has become THE DREAM. 

* I should clarify that we are not a filthy rich family. My Nan and Grandad bought two cottages with land 'back in the day' and worked and saved hard to convert said cottages to a very nice moderately sized house in a large piece of land.

The Plan [reprioritised]...
The self-build dream has stepped up a notch and is now a key factor in my 'Expanding ambitions'. The self-build venture will not only be a 'once in a lifetime' opportunity but also the chance to gather the revenue to start our own business.

The business idea is an Interior Design and Refurbishment business that will focus on homes and businesses on a very personal scale.

The new business is now key to our future plans and seems to be the perfect solution: 

• It will allow me to create my perfect career
• It will allow Dave and I to work together, for ourselves to provide us with a secure future
• I will allow us to look after our families & nearest and dearest current and future
• It will be a rewarding and motivating career for both of us  

When it comes to this opportunity it's not difficult to be grateful:

Thank you to my Nana and Grandad who worked and saved so hard to pass on the house and land to my mum

Thank you for my Mum allowing us this fantastic opportunity. Thank you Mum for you unwavering confidence and your willingness to take a risk on us

Thank you to Dave who talked me through my worries and lack of confidence in my ability. Thank you to Dave for being strong, reassuring and supportive and for your confidence in me

Thank you to Dave's Dad our silent, patient long term investor

Athens in T-25 days...

The new job has already improved my life in many ways; I have my weekends back because I’m not constantly doing my portfolio, I can stop worrying and look forward to better financial security and I feel like I have the career I have been striving for. This has given me a lot of 'head space' back to focus on the next two goals for this year…

The Dream House and The Perfect Weight

Another very pleasant side effect of changing jobs is that I have a weeks annual leave at the end of March to visit one of my best friends (Christina who I was inseparable with at Uni) in Athens. Usually at this time of year she likes to visit me and reminisce about living in the UK, university and generally to do a LOT of shopping!


This year she felt it wouldn’t be possible to visit me, as she is currently on a month long trip in the USA, so this year I am going to see Christina!


Me picking Christina up from the airport in the university years
To quote one of her favourite expressions 'Where ever you find me, where ever you leave me; always at an airport'

 This is a very happy turn of events as my annual leave/ last day at my current job co-insides exactly with her return to Athens [Thank you The Secret] so I have booked my flights and I am leaving for a week on the 24^th of March.

Christina and I at the Bathhouse (Bishops Gate) during her last visit

This brings me to the reason why my next focus will be to achieve The Perfect Weight!

I have been indulging myself quite a lot recently; there have been numerous celebration dinners, drinks and a trip to Bruges to enjoy. I have enjoyed all of them… possibly a little bit too much! Coupled with that I have also enjoyed a serious lapse in regular exercise since September!

To counteract, all the above enjoyment, for the next 25 days I am going to make a commitment to use The Secret and positive attitude to do the following:


1) At least 1 hour of exercise 4 times a week
[this will have to include starting the dreaded Essex Bootcamp Groupon deal I bought in a moment of reckless abandon... but I am building up to that]

2) Ban bread from my diet
[apparently bread is the devil]

 3) Eat loads of fresh fruit, vegetables, fish and lean meat

 4) Avoid sweets & deserts of any kind

Say good bye waffle!

5) Ban drinking any alcohol except for my 'Safety Drink' Gin and Slimline Tonic
[but only at celebrations on a weekend]

6) Track everything I eat in a diet diary 

Thanks Iphone

7) Track my progress totally honestly through this blog including photo’s [terrifying]
To be added in first diet post!


8) Secret Tip: Only pay attention to the positive in terms of weight so I only think about what I want to be rather than what I don’t want to be.


Embarking on this mission I would like to give a little gratitude in the hope that it will help me succeed!

I am grateful for the goal and motivation which the promise of a trip provides


I am grateful that Davey has agreed to accompany me on walk/runs in the dark


I am grateful that I am healthy enough to exercise


I am grateful that I live in a country where fresh healthy food is readily available


I am grateful for the time to focus on diet and exercise

I'll keep you posted...

The Interview...

So yesterday was The Interview...

I usually get very nervous at interviews; I was so nervous at my first interview (at NPS) I had to use all my self control not to sob and bolt for the door.

I previously blogged about how positive thinking has transformed my career in the last 18 months (if you haven't read it of you want a re-cap click here) so I was sure that if I could use The Secret techniques I could 'rock their socks' at the interview.

Four of the techniques The Secret recommends played a key part in my preparation:

1) Focus on what you want and trust your instincts
Ahead of the interview I made sure I had enough time to prepare so I wasn't rushed or stressed on the day. Despite my best intentions I had a little mishap on the day before the interview. I took my portfolio to get printed only to find it was going to cost me £200.
This freaked me out and made me uncertain whether I should go into work first and try to sneak print my portfolio. The idea of trying to sneak into work and illegally print made me feel stressed and guilty so I made a decision to trust my instincts and that The Secret would provide an alternative solution.

It did...
The next day I found 'Positive Print' (it was a sign) and got my work beautifully printed and bound for £40 with no stress (which on the day of your interview is worth its weight in gold)

Incidentally two other things happened at the print shop:
1) I got stuck in the snow, so I would like to that the kind man that pushed me out of the icy trench
2) I got a call from another recruitment consultant offering me an interview for the same position = massive confidence booster!

2) Visualising the result that I want
During the run up to the interview I spent time researching the company and managed to pick out a few details and questions for the interview. On the journey there I visualised exactly how I wanted the interview to go focusing on the things I had learnt about the company particularly the design awards they have won.

It was brilliant. Everything I had picked out and managed to remember
came up totally naturally. The interview went so well that we ran out of time before the next candidate arrived. Following my interview I was shown the office and taken to meet the design director who spent 45 minutes telling me all the benefits of working for them. The original advertisement was for a 12 month contract but the discussions with the design director soon meant that we were discussing a permanent position with benefits. There are a lot... its a truly excellent package, more than I ever imagined.

3) Acting as though I have already received it
I told everyone about the interview.
I told everyone about all the positive feedback that the fantastic recruitment consultant gave me.
I told everyone I was going to get the interview, the job and a massive pay rise (which made some people recoil, but luckily no one that mattered).
Following the interview I told everyone (including the recruitment consultant) how well I did and that 'unless the candidate after me was exceptional then the job was mine’. 
When I got home I drafted my resignation letter and wrote my name, new title and address out until I felt it was my new place of work.

4) Feeling gratitude
I said thank you for my new job all the way home last night, before I went to sleep and when I woke up this morning.

Then Today...
The consultant called me and told me that the feedback from my interview was excellent and I should expect a job offer in the next few days...

Now I am just focusing on the salary I want :o)

I'll keep you posted

From Career Crisis to Confidence

Preparing for my interview got me thinking about the changes in my career over the last 18 months and how grateful I am for them. I went from someone who felt trapped by 'lack' to someone who attracted more development opportunities in 18 months that the entire 5 years previous. I am convinced it's because The Secret taught me that a positive attitude attracts opportunity.

This is my story...

For many years I have worried about which direction to progress my career to gain success. Every time I thought about persuing my education in Architecture I felt sick and anxious but I couldn’t see a way to develop my preferred career in interior design. The indecision made me feel awful and like a failure. I worried constantly because I didn’t know what to do for the best and my employer was pressuring me.

I was having a total confidence crises and couldn’t see how to make my career suit my personality. I began to try and be what I thought others wanted which made me depressed and insecure because I felt dishonest.

After reading The Secret I realised that I had allowed other people to undermine the confidence I had when I left uni. I had let my colleagues short sighted criticism put doubt into my mind that I even belonged in the creative world.

I made a decision to stop worrying and started looking for inspiration of how to make my career work for me. I feel a renewed sense of confidence and ambition because I have found examples of people who have enjoyed massive success by not conforming.

Meet my celebrity muses:

 Zara Hadid; Not only is she a female architect, but she is a female British-Iraqi architect who has overcome many obstacles. My favourite Zara quote is:

‘Men don’t listen to me, so I have to give them hell’

Working in a male dominated profession can be intimidating sometimes especially when you turn up on site to tell burly builders twice your age what they’ve done wrong. Next time one of them gives me grief I am going to channel Zara!

Vivienne Westwood; who doesn’t love Viv? 70 years old and still kicking arse in the design world. Not only is she an amazing designer she often writes though provoking pieces on human rights, ethics and philosophy [her blog is a must read]. On top of all this she has an incredible sense of fun and doesn’t take herself too seriously which I’m pretty sure is unique in the fashion world. I would love to take her to dinner to discuss her ethics followed by skanking at a punk gig!

 Lady Gaga; I didn’t used to rate Lady Gaga. I thought she was an intriguing gimmick who produced good songs but nothing to obsess over.

How my opinions have changed!

I watched Gaga on the TV at the Radio 1 gig and she blew me away. She is packed with talent and her ‘eccentrically artistic bit’ is just the sideline.

From there I went on to Watch the Monsterball tour and fell in love with her. I have never seen another artist give back so much encouragement and love back to her fans... I am now a proper Little Monster and if I need a confidence boost my medicine is dancing like a loony in my pants to Gaga!

Meet My Muses in the Family...

I am lucky to be surrounded and encouraged by three of the most inspiring artistic and creative ladies I could wish to have by my side. It definitely runs in the family... 

 

[Left to Right] My Nana, my Mum with baby me and Lizzy-Bet with crazy custom made moustache



Not to mention Papa Bear, a home builder and master craftsman. Our Dad learned to carve so he could make us a rocking horse, made us countless pieces of custom furniture and worked constantly with my Mum to build a family home and a happy childhood for both my sister and I.

Thank you. Thank You. Thank you. Thank you.



Papa Bear [aka Dad]

Thanks to these inspiring people and a little help from the secret I managed to work out [at the ripe old age of 27] that it was OK to be myself, that I had a right to make my life and my career work for me rather than squeezing myself into a pre-formed mould.

They gave me the confidence to stand up for myself and take positive action to push for the things I wanted.

They gave me the self worth to value my opinion and my work as highly as the next designer and to not care if it wasn’t to everyone’s taste.

Now I am focused on finding the positive and inspiring I absolutely adore reading the interviews with eccentric characters in design [BD Magazine]. In this weeks BD an architect called Piers Taylor resigned from his practice, via email, after a holiday in Australia to escape the confines of the studio and set up a new venture called 'Invisible Studio' to work collaboratively with magicians and mathematicians.

There is too much criticism and negativity in the world and if you let it surround you, you can drown in it. I am now entirely focused on seeking out inspiring characters and designers and focusing on what I can be, rather than what I can’t.

It Works...

I decided about a year ago to just focus on the fact that I wanted a career in Interior design, rather than all the possible obstacles. Very quickly the office began to get more and more Interior Design commissions, which were all offered to me and in September last year my boss agreed to change my job description to Interior Designer.

Now I have an interior design career I am determined to focus on greater success in this or another creative industry and I will let the universe decide how that success comes to me.

I'll keep you posted.

Little Secret Update [Wealth]

As you know one of things I am using The Secret to attract this year is wealth.

Over the last couple of weeks I have really be focusing my mind on only thinking about money with positivity and joy. I am looking at everything I want and thinking to myself 'I can afford that'... even when it’s the new Audi R8 Davey wants so much.

Anyway I was standing in the co-op queue visualising how our lives would be in the dream house with all the wealth we've attracted and feeling joy and gratitude as if we already had it [The Secret says this is key to attracting what you want] and my focus shifted to one particular scratch card with a top prize of £5,000. Because I was feeling so happy and joyful and I had been attracted to the particular scratch card I bought it [I never buy them usually].

That was last Friday night... I decided to save it until I felt really happy and really grateful, which happened to be tonight and I spent all the way home from work visualising what Dave and I could do with the money

... It was a winner!

The prize was £5 but I am so grateful and joyful about that £5 because I see it as sign that The Secret is starting to take effect. That £5 is going straight into my savings to contribute towards the £300,000 I expect by 2012.

I would also like to use the £5 to create a technique that Rhonda used to get herself back on her feet financially and imagine another three zero's on the end there, so...

I am so happy and grateful now that I have received £5000

I'll keep you posted xxx

2 [and a bit] week update...

So what have I been up to in the two [and a bit] weeks since my last post?


Well let me tell you...

I have been listening to The Secret Audio book every day; on the way to work, at work and at home. I have listened to it in the background, I have concentrated on it and I have let it sink into my subconscious.

It’s working.

I have been listening to all the advice given and sought out podcasts from other 'teachers' [as they call themselves]. Turns out most life coaches, Feng Shui gurus and other 'sorts' that the rich and famous can afford to hire, are all advocates of The Secret.

Now some of the Americanisms and the over the top dramatics are a bit much for my slightly cynical British reserve [thank god for Rhonda Byrne, who reads the majority of the book, in her soft Australian accent] but they have a point and as a result of really absorbing the concept of The Secret I have taken 3 steps:

1) Saying thank you for all the brilliant things I have to be grateful for every morning

There are a lot! When you stop and think about it you will be shocked about how much you have to be grateful for (including things that we maybe we all take for granted). Whether it’s your family, your friends, your colleagues, that man that held the door open for you, that woman who stopped you to tell you that you had dropped your favourite scarf, the fact that you have food to eat, that we have access to clean water, that we can see a doctor when we need to, our health, our ability to exercise, your family pet...

The list goes on and on and the more you think about it the more you will remember to be grateful for.

2) I have focused on what I want and asked for it

Following on from my last post I have been thinking in more detail about what I really want. Thinking about this can be a scary process, as you can discover that a lot of what you thought you wanted is actually what you thought you should want... like world peace  
None the less I let my mind have free rein to establish what I would dare to dream for if I truly believed there were no limits to what I could achieve... I realised I left a few things of my list:

My dream home
The image below was designed by, Interior Designer, Kathryn Tyler who I absolutely idolise. I first saw her on Grand Designs and totally fell in love with her style, green design principles and her courage to grab success.

Her practice is Linea Studio which she established, in 2004, very soon after leaving university. She is an inspiration to me because she showed me that you need to have courage and commitment to your own style, the confidence to risk going it alone and the balls to ignore the critics.
When Dave and I build our own house this will be the precedent.

£300,000.00 In the savings account
Don’t know how I expect it to get there but I want it.

3) Finally I have taken action to achieve ‘Great Success and Wealth in my Perfect Career’...

Over the last few years I have spent a lot of time working on various portfolios, but I never really found a layout and style that represented me or gave me confidence in my work.

I spent a lot of time worrying about if it gave the right message and if people would like my style or toss all my dreams and hopes into the shredder, as such I hadn't sent out an application for a new job in 7 years!

Since I have started focusing on being positive I found it incredibly easy to design a portfolio layout and content that I love. I have updated my CV and confidently sung my own praises. I have also applied for my first job in 7 years. And guess what I already have an interview...

So thank you Rhonda Byrne.

So what am I up to?

About a 18 months ago a good friend of mine, Victoria Hale aka Sugar Plum Slipper, introduced me to The Secret by Rhonda Byrne.

No I don't usually go in for hippy nonsense (it makes me cringe) however her enthusiasm lead me to try it out. I devoured the book in one sitting (its not very long) but also available in DVD and audiobook depending on your favoured medium.

The most basic premise of The Secret is that you can attract the life that you want... including the perfect career, the perfect partner, health, wealth, success etc. by being positive and grateful for the things that you have. The idea is that to attract something in your life you should send positive and grateful vibes out and you will attract it to you. The book gives numerous examples and encourages you to test the principle out with something small in the first instance. So I decided to challenge the universe...


 The Challenge...

Whilst shopping with boyf I fell in love with a pair of blue and orange Rayban Wayfarers. So I decided my challenge to the universe/ The Secret was that I wanted the sunglasses for free. I asked, I felt gratitude and then I waited. Payday came and I decided I would buy the sunglasses and trust that The Secret would see me right. It did. A week later i received and unexpected cheque from the Inland Revenue for just £3 and a few pence less than the value of the sunglasses... now you may say its coincidence but based on this event I am a believer in The Secret.

So now what...

Well I have a bigger challenge for The Secret which I intend to document with absolute honesty on this blog. I am setting myself the challenge that in 365 days from today I will have achieved:

1) Great Success and Wealth in my Perfect Career (to be dog friendly)-

I am an interior designer and generally creative sort. Aside from my professional career I have many ideas for home products, children’s book characters, fashion accessories, events packages, interior packages, graphic design and this year will be the year I persue them all hopefully to result in my own business. All my creative designs etc will be documented on my 'other blog' which can be seen here

On the career front I have already achieved more in the year and a half since I discovered the Secret than I did in the five and a half years previous but now my focus is on great success and wealth whether that is in my perfect role in my perfect company or my own business.

2) My perfect weight
Fairly standard but I would like to be one and a half stone lighter, fit, healthy and ready for the challenges my perfect career will bring. I'm not too fussy something along the lines of the picture below will suffice ;o)

The reason I am able have these two focal points for this year is because I'm very lucky and happy in all other areas of my life... for which i would like to say thank you, thank you, thank you.

Further gratitude to follow in my next post.